I have a confession.
I haven't been doing any work on research recently. To be completely honest, I'm struggling.
There are multiple reasons why this is the case and, in the light of transparency and honesty, I do want to go through and unpack them. The best way to get through a block is to attack it head on.
I've lost my way. What I'm looking to do I'm enthusiastic about in theory, but not so much in actual practice. Having a deep dive understanding on a specific time and place is really cool, but I don't know if that's really for me.
Something I'm learning the hard way is that it's not so much that I'm interested in the Mongols of themselves. They're a puzzle for even the most skilled anthropologist, doing on the ground work. The sources about the Mongols themselves is highly flawed -- whether it's using centuries later transcribed oral history, or contemporary accounts from rival cultures and/or conquered people, there's no way there can be any surety in that what is being sifted is accurate.
What I'm really interested in is following the ripples from the Mongol stone. What are the implications of the Mongol invasions? How did the hasten changes in the cultures they ruled? What were the intended and unintended consequences of those conquests and exchanges? What access did the cultures gain and lose they would not have had otherwise?
Something I'm also learning is that my SCA experience is prefaced around exploration and academics.
I'm not very much into persona, or the LARP-like aspects. I don't have much investment in the building of a specific and discrete person who may have existed. I'm certainly appreciative of the pageantry and ceremony. But, I can't say I'd personally have an interest in doing something like an Enchanted Ground event, or something High Persona.
Some people are super into that and I am, by no means, trying to harsh on their fun. If that's what you love about the SCA, absolutely continue to do it! Enjoy it to the ends of time and spread your joy and enthusiasm far and wide! That joy is part of what makes the Society great. It's just not particularly for me.
The result of this is that digging deep into a persona build doesn't hold the same appeal to me that it might to others. Building research around building a persona isn't resonating with me because having that deep of a persona isn't something I'm truly invested in.
I'm content with being the vague ethnic Mongol, Yuan period court member, as it allows me to show off any level of material wealth I want to try out. It's more a means to an end, as opposed to an end to the means.
I'm not sure what all this means in terms of my research. I still have a love of linguistics and grammar, so that project isn't going to go away. But, the rest of it is something I'm really starting to pull into question.
I definitely need to re-evaluate what I'm looking at otherwise. This shoe doesn't feel like it fits properly and it's a strange place to be in.
