26 August 2018

Thoughts and Updates

I've taken a longer than anticipated break from this than I was initially expecting. I don't have any new, exciting research breakthroughs or events attended or other real related SCA updates to share in terms of anything that pushes along what I've been doing.

That's not to say I've not been through changes when it comes to the SCA, and my place within it.

First of everything, I've officially, if quietly, stepped away from House Strangewayes.  I had wished for it to have been a more amicable break than it turned out to be, but the maturity with which my leaving was handled was outside my control.  I wish no ill will on the current members of the House, even now, and I have no intention of spread gross and dirty rumor through this (or any other) channel.  Just rest assured, whoever may still be reading, that it's been about 8 months since I'd moved on from the House and I am much happier for it.  I hope the House and the members continue to pursue their goals.

As you may have put together, this was around the same time that Trimgate happened, which was one of the last things I had updated on.  Trimgate, as it's come to be known as I understand it, had a rather profound impact on me.  The timing of it -- being essentially coincidental to my reassessing where I sat within the Society being a "free agent" -- gave me a lot of pause.

It turned what was going to be a few months of break while I got my head about me and figured out what I wanted to really do on my own, into the break you're seeing now.  Frankly, the way it had been handled by the leadership within the SCA was a huge turn off at a time I was vulnerable.  An open comment period, where I did write the Board, and then 7 months of no official statements regarding the incident, the issue of racism in general, and some of the problematic policies/practices which allowed for such an incident to occur.  I was disappointed and, frankly, as a gay man with racial minority children, did not at all feel like I could be safe within the SCA.  The threads of apologism that kept percolating up also didn't help.

If I'm going to participate in a hobby which expects me to show up, be counted and be seen in order to be considered a part of it, then I want that hobby to strenuously work to be a safe place for me and people like me.  The SCA failed in that task.

I had kept a low, outside profile for the following months.  Pennsic came and I was starting to feel a pang of nostalgia and want.  I wanted to do it again.  I wanted to figure out how to best go about participating in a way that I could presume my own safety.  How I could make a mark, while also keeping my family safe.  That, maybe, this was something that could be pushed for change, and that I could find a way to forgive the poor actions of the Board of Directors downward.

Then the Trimaris Order of Defense incident happened.

As a result, I dropped myself from all contact within the SCA.  I cannot, at this point, associate myself with an organization so inept at the basics of racism and racial bias as to do nothing in the face of what is clearly a rising tide of white nationalism and white supremacy within the rank and file.

I didn't lose the SCA; the SCA lost me.  I cannot and will not be associated with white nationalism, white supremacy and this kind of white ignorance.  No hobby is worth that.

I may continue to do the research I love on my own, but I've not really decided what I'm going to do in regards to all of that.  Right now, I've been focus on other passions in my life which I'd not been able to pursue because of the demands of my life, and the demands of the SCA.

I have a new job, at a new company.  I have my two boys, who're my entire world.  I have projects at home I've been putting off that I'm finally starting to tackle with the attention they deserve.  I want to make my life more ecologically friendly -- from my consumerism to my landscaping and garden.  All of these things I've been passionate about, but back burned to hobble along in the SCA as a persona no one really felt comfortable having.

I'm going to keep this blog up, because I think what I've already uncovered may be of some help to someone, but I am not going to make a concerted effort to continue my research, at least for now.  Instead, I've been toying with starting a blog for my landscaping, gardening and sustainability efforts. I'm not totally sold on that, yet, because there is already a glut of those kinds of resources and voices, but it's on the radar.

Until next time.

01 February 2018

Uncomfortable

Medieval Studies has a white supremacy problem.

Recently, this came knocking on the SCA's door with what's been called "trimgate".  Royals outside my kingdom wore a commissioned garment with a trim based on the Snartemo V pattern. I will not link or display the image directly, as it would be a distraction. They have abdicated and their Kingdom is in a healing process right now.  I'm not here to interrupt or otherwise impede the healing of another Kingdom, my Kingdom is still healing from its own, very different, trauma.

What I want to unpack is what I'm seeing as an aftermath.  This is a departure from my usual writing, so if you've come here for research updates and the like, this is an entry you can certainly skip.  I feel compelled to say something, anything, in the effort that my words can help explain what so many people are still feeling, and it requires me to break down the fantasy and build in the very real person who does the research into the hypothetical Erdeneqadajin.

I am a white gay man, and a father to two beautiful black children.  My entire life outside the SCA is looks and judgments.  I come to the SCA as an escape from the grind of life.  Much of my found family plays the game; we encourage each other and support each other.

What I'm seeing is that this is not the rule, but rather the exception for people like me.

If you clicked on the link for the Snartemo V pattern, you can see the original is believed to have a fylfot, or Norse swastika.  The interpretation that is causing the outrage took the swatiska, and matched it with other symbols of the Nazi party and the neo-Nazi movement. Whether this is based on an academic interpretation of the weave, or infused with artistic license, I don't think matters.  What does matter is that it was there, large, in photographs for the SCA, devoid of context.

What matters more is that when there was an outrage, a justifiable outrage, those people were made to be the problem.  They were told they were opposed to historicism, that the history of the garment outweighed the real history that came after it.  The glossing over of the co-opting of Norse history by white supremacy and what could have been a real discussion of how the SCA, which is increasingly seeing a surge of Viking-age personae, separates people who are lovers of the real history of the Vikings from those who use the fantasy of Aryan crusaders ridding the world of non-Aryan people.

This echos the complaints about the harassment policy put in place to help combat bullying and sexual harassment that needed addressing right before the #MeToo movement exploded into consciousness.  Where "the SJWs are ruining the game" with their "PC nonsense".

Even more, it's the same vein of complaint levied against Inspirational Equality, which was launched directly for people like me, who kept seeing men fight for their wives and wondered what the real harm was if a man wanted to fight for his husband (or wife for wife, of course). Once again, it was the SJWs making problems for the rest of the society, clutching their pearls about things that "weren't important".

At what point, then, do we admit that there is a huge problem with Reactionary Conservatism embedded within the culture of the SCA?  When do we soul search and determine who wins -- the people who take into consideration the modern meanings and visuals of what we're doing in conjunction with the history we're looking to be inspired by?

More personally, who gets to feel comfortable in the SCA?  The people who think it's ok to put swastika on garb, harass women and keep it straight?  or is it the people who think that ignoring the importance of the swastika is Holocaust denial, think that all people should have protection and see no harm in letting other people fully participate?

I don't know if there's really enough people looking for an answer to that.  That's a huge problem that needs addressing.

13 January 2018

Sad Day

I feel like this a necessary update, but it tears my heart apart to post it.  I'm going to take this right from my personal (non-SCA) Facebook page, with supporting other links inserted.

I was nearly ready to give up on the research I do. I was wondering if I should try a different persona or who knows what else.

Then I got a quest from the Queen and warm appreciation from the King. He shook my hand and calmed my nerves.

It is the small kindnesses that show you who someone really is.

There is hope Duke Kenric is still out there, waiting. And so we stoke those fires until the fuel is gone.

I don't know him well at all, but we quake at the loss of greatness, kindness and care.

To absent friends.

29 December 2017

Drive by Update

It's been since Summer that I've updated the blog, and I wanted to take a little bit of time to put something out there as an update.

This year real life threw some monkey wrenches in both good and bad ways.  I have a personal policy of Real Life before SCA and so research stalled a bit.  I was ok with taking a break, as I was getting overwhelmed with being stretched thin between kids, work, my non-playing spouse and one too many SCA-related challenges.

I've taken some time to retool how I organize my priorities and flex in the time I need to feel sane and get everything done I need to.

So, what that means is that I've started to get back into reading The Silk Road, but this time I am notating, margin noting and highlighting up a storm as I work my way through.  I've loving being a student and getting questions down for further research.  It's been a breath of fresh air to jump back in, only focusing solely on what I want to do.

It also means I'm not going to be making new garb until Spring at the earliest.  I need to make Summer-ready garb and the problem is when I'm making it.  It's difficult to make Summer breathable garb when it's barely making freezing outside, and I've been making my new piece of garb for the next year right around now in prep for Birka in Stonemarche.

This year, I'm going to make adjustments and repairs to the garb I made for last year's Birka (below).
I've lost the information for attribution.

Mainly, though, I'm going to be getting myself prepped for teaching classes and helping with voice heraldry.  Both fall into strength areas for me, and allow me to relax on things I've been pushing myself on, but haven't necessarily given me real joy.  I'm not much on sewing, if I'm honest, but it's part of the deal (pun thoroughly intended).

01 July 2017

Supply Chains

The last posting here was a bit of a crisis point for me.  I was looking down at what I was doing and I really, deeply was not feeling it.  I was wavering and wiggling all around trying to figure out why, within the context of what I was doing.  I was toying with dropping the whole thing, but not entirely seriously at that point.

Then, I made a trip to Barnes & Noble, because where else does a lost nerd go but to a place filled with information.  I went there to pick up a bullet journal, but of course, left with a new book on the Silk Road.  It's titled The Silk Road: A New History -- link takes you to B&N (I do not have sponsors; I get no personal gain from recommendations).

Normally, this would be an entirely unremarkable event.  When I go to book stores, I typically scour their Asian history section/subsection to see what they have within my research wheelhouse.  I have a decent digital archive, but I like actual books on real paper.  I'm a highlighter and margin note taker.  I can print out what I have digitally, but it's easier if it comes printed.

This time, though, it's caused a big shift.  But first, a little background.

In my real life, I work in supply chain.  I'm one of the many people who ensure that the products you want from a specific retailer is available for purchase in your area.  Shipping, lead time, demand and vendor of origin are all concepts and challenges I contend with on a daily basis for our modern infrastructure.  I love the intricacies of how products get from here to there -- manufacturer to end customer.  It's one of my main draws to the Silk Routes -- studying how all these goods and peoples changed each other over time.

This book, though "study" could be as easily applicable a word, looks at it from the angle of my current job.  The author looks at what moved along the Silk Roads in central and eastern Asia -- through sifting the old refuse pits for goods, wares and manifests.

It all unlocked at that point, for me. A specific focus on a specific hypothetical person is the wrong kind of narrow for me -- unfolding the character isn't what speaks to me.  What I love are the things that make his environment: what language or languages did he speak - what did they sound like and how did they operate grammatically; what stuff would he consider normal and where did it come from; who would he had bought it from; what would be exotic and interesting but not entire abnormal?

I've decided a change in focus would do me good, at least for now.  I'm going to dive into the operations of the Silk Routes and related trading routes.  How did they work?  How did folks typically travel before selling a good? What impact does political stability have on those distances?

I've already uncovered some clues -- the author of the book which kicked this off contends most traders traveled pretty exclusively between 2 to 3 cities (i.e. buy X, sell Y in New York; buy Y and sell X in Philadelphia).  I want to see what other people who study this have seen to see if this is a prevalent or niche idea.

I'm gripped and fascinated in a way I haven't been for a while.  This is a good sign to me, so I'm going to follow the road to see where it takes me.


20 April 2017

Struggles and Thoughts

I have a confession.

I haven't been doing any work on research recently.  To be completely honest, I'm struggling.

There are multiple reasons why this is the case and, in the light of transparency and honesty, I do want to go through and unpack them. The best way to get through a block is to attack it head on.

I've lost my way.  What I'm looking to do I'm enthusiastic about in theory, but not so much in actual practice.  Having a deep dive understanding on a specific time and place is really cool, but I don't know if that's really for me.

Something I'm learning the hard way is that it's not so much that I'm interested in the Mongols of themselves.  They're a puzzle for even the most skilled anthropologist, doing on the ground work.  The sources about the Mongols themselves is highly flawed -- whether it's using centuries later transcribed oral history, or contemporary accounts from rival cultures and/or conquered people, there's no way there can be any surety in that what is being sifted is accurate.

What I'm really interested in is following the ripples from the Mongol stone.  What are the implications of the Mongol invasions?  How did the hasten changes in the cultures they ruled?  What were the intended and unintended consequences of those conquests and exchanges?  What access did the cultures gain and lose they would not have had otherwise?

Something I'm also learning is that my SCA experience is prefaced around exploration and academics.

I'm not very much into persona, or the LARP-like aspects.  I don't have much investment in the building of a specific and discrete person who may have existed.  I'm certainly appreciative of the pageantry and ceremony.  But, I can't say I'd personally have an interest in doing something like an Enchanted Ground event, or something High Persona.

Some people are super into that and I am, by no means, trying to harsh on their fun.  If that's what you love about the SCA, absolutely continue to do it!  Enjoy it to the ends of time and spread your joy and enthusiasm far and wide!  That joy is part of what makes the Society great.  It's just not particularly for me.

The result of this is that digging deep into a persona build doesn't hold the same appeal to me that it might to others.  Building research around building a persona isn't resonating with me because having that deep of a persona isn't something I'm truly invested in.

I'm content with being the vague ethnic Mongol, Yuan period court member, as it allows me to show off any level of material wealth I want to try out.  It's more a means to an end, as opposed to an end to the means.

I'm not sure what all this means in terms of my research.  I still have a love of linguistics and grammar, so that project isn't going to go away.  But, the rest of it is something I'm really starting to pull into question.

I definitely need to re-evaluate what I'm looking at otherwise.  This shoe doesn't feel like it fits properly and it's a strange place to be in.

04 March 2017

Best Ideas at Night

There's a word-on-the-street maxium that says some of your best ideas and thoughts happen when you're least expecting them -- in the shower, right before falling asleep, when driving on the open road and the like.  Any time when your mind can bring those twisty-turny thoughts more to the front and start to do some untying and solving.

I had one of those moments last night while drifting to sleep related to research.

With the new direction, I've been feeling a bit adrift and so have lost a bit of my researching mojo.  I am still utterly fascinated by the Yuan dynasty era Mongols, so I'm not feeling a persona change or anything drastic.  It's more that I haven't been able to dedicate myself to making a game plan on incorporating new information and approaches.

It's made it especially difficult to read the newer research information I've compiled because I've been struggling with where it "fits" in what I'm looking at.  It feel both relevant and irrelevant to what I'm doing, and the ambiguity is sapping my ability to focus when I have the chance.  The little voice in my back of my head says "and this helps you how?" and I'm having a time understanding not only the "why" of the question but actually answering it.

Last night, I think I solved it, but it requires some work to make a frame on which to hang everything.

The new direction is more than just looking at stuff out of the ground.  I've oversimplified it because it's easier to talk about it that way, before refining the idea.

The new direction is a holistic look at the material and other cultural aspects of the idea of my persona.  So, more than "what all did you wear?" it's also "what all did you eat? what would your social standing be? how did you get there? what's your religious background? what languages would you speak?" and other related questions.

So, instead of a deep dive into a narrow subject, it's a deep dive into a narrow time.

What came to me last night was a pretty simple, though somewhat profound, idea. Literally organizing Erdene's life into departments.

Just like a real department store, they'll bleed into each other like how activewear and formalwear are separate, but the connect through casual clothing.

What I've come up with so far is:

Food: What did he eat? With whom did he eat it? How often could he expect to eat?  Would it have changed moving from the frontier to the heart of the Empire?

Faith: What would his religion probably have been?  What other religions would he had been exposed to?  How did they come together?  Who celebrated what faiths?  Would he have had a different faith than his neighbors? parents? siblings? What were the prevailing philosophies of the time?

Social: What social biases did he have? Would he have been considered a racist by modern standards? How would growing up on the Silk Routs have changed his view of outsiders? Would he be in an ethnically mixed environment, or would it have been homogenous?  Who would he consider 'his people'?  How would he identify his in-groups and his out-groups?

Government: How would he understand his government? Would the government be supportive or oppressive to his religious and other markers? What would have been his most probably role in government?  Who're the major players in the government?  What does the bureaucracy look like (since this is China)?  Who is eligible to be a Civil Servant?

Material: What did he own?  How would he have bought or gotten it?  What are his clothes made of? How are they constructed?  What does he live in?  Is it portable? Is he still nomadic or has he settled?

Again, all of these topics and questions overlap each other and inform each other.  Some can be answered by traditional archaeology, others will need historical study.  But, by having the archaeological study background first, I can use that to do gut-checking on the historian's interpretation of social structures and customs.